Parenting 101

You probably know I have five children. Five adorable, rambunctious, full of life, spirited children. My children overflow with exuberance and willfulness.

You probably also know that in the past year we have completely revamped our parenting stratagem. Gone from corporal authoritarian parenting to gentle unconditional parenting. I’ve posted a little about that here and here.

You likely do not know I grew up in a home, while filled with love, that was also filled with anger, pain, rage, yelling, shame, and abuse. My parents and I have a wonderful, growing relationship now. They did the best they could based on their own upbringings and the tools they had at the time.

This combination has left me ill prepared for the kind of parent I want to be. The kind of mother I feel God is calling me to be. The kind of peaceful home we desire. It  is so hard to change the very way I think, the way I react, to what I know to know to be true, but is not at all natural to me.

Enter Parent Coaching. I was searching the internet one night looking for some gentle parenting ideas to help me with one of my children in particular. I have found the more I read to reinforce my beliefs, the better I do and the more it becomes part of my core.

I had not even heard the term parent coaching before and I was intrigued. I perused Kassandra’s site for a while reading her blog and getting some idea of who she was and if her philosophies aligned with mine. When I was satisfied they did, I filled out the form on her site. She emailed me the next day and we set up a time to talk on the phone when Kevin and I both would be available.

After talking with her for a while, getting to know one another and what my expectations and hopes would be, we decided to move forward and agreed to six sessions. That was in late October, and I am still meeting with her via Skype, weekly.

This work has been life changing for me personally and the landscape of my family. Kassandra introduced me to the world of inner empathy. At first, it felt a little awkward and weird–listening to myself essentially have conversations with parts of myself. I would normally identify those parts as emotions, feelings or physical sensations but for the purposes of this inner empathy work, we call them parts. When you listen to and hold the parts of yourself in your own compassion, without trying to change or fix them, miraculous things happen.

This work has been SO life changing for me that I went through a training Kassandra held to become a parent coach myself. This work has been so life changing, I can’t help but want to offer it to the rest of the world!

Please follow and like us:

support midwives for Iowa

If you live in Iowa, I ask you to please write your representative to ask them to support a licensure bill for Certified Professional Midwives. 
You can find your legislator here by entering your address:
 The main points are that midwives would be able to be licensed by the state of Iowa to practice. This includes those who are CPMs, Certified Professional Midwives. Twenty-eight states (and counting) have passed similar bills. The term ‘Midwife’ would then join the ranks of other professions that need to be licensed by the state (eg. physicians, nurses, chiropractors, podiatrists, mental health counselors, athletic trainers, barbers, massage therapists, etc.). The bill would establish a Board of Midwifery.  This would follow the NARM (North American Registry of Midwives) and NACPM (National Association of Certified Professional Midwives) definitions and standards for midwives. NARM is the organization that oversees the CPM National Board examination. This is an important bill because it changes the legal climate for midwives. Without this change, CPMs cannot practice in Iowa, and women do not have access to quality midwifery care in most parts of our state. 
Women choose home birth midwives for many reasons, including safety, better outcomes, fewer interventions and comfort. I myself have had three babies at home and had a couple of very scary situations. I knew I was in good hands. The OB at the hospital after Elivette’s birth told me that my midwife had already done what needed to be done to save my life. 
You can copy and paste the following letter and easily email your representative asking them to support this very life changing bill.  
Dear Representative _______________,
 I’m writing today as your constituent to ask you to support the bill to license midwives in Iowa. Certified Professional Midwives undergo high quality education and training, and their care has been associated with excellent outcomes for mothers and babies. Midwife licensure ensures that all midwives meet standards of professional competence, and ensures that all Iowa families can access safe, affordable maternity care. 
This bill is important to me because women need choices, safe options, on where to birth. Many more women would be afforded this amazing option by licensing Certified Professional Midwives. 
 By allowing midwife licensure for Certified Professional Midwives, Iowa would be the 29th state to have this opportunity, including Wisconsin, Missouri and Minnesota.
I can see by the bills that you sponsor that you care about women and the rights of the individual.
Voting for this bill would fit right in with what you stand for.
Thank you for representing me, and for your attention to this important issue. 
(be sure to sign your letter with your name and street address)
Please follow and like us: