Don’t be laughing at me!

After story hour on Friday, we decided to go play in the Reading Garden. The Reading Garden is a tranquil stone seating area surrounded by evergreens and butterfly bushes, coneflowers, black-eyed Susans, and tall prairie grasses.

My friend and I settled in for a nice chat while our children picked up pine cones and played follow-the-leader. We admonished our offspring to stay within our view while I nursed the baby. Seated in an alcove of pine trees, we enjoyed the cool breeze and warm sun. We savored each other’s company as we discussed her daughter’s new ventures in preschool.

Eventually of course, our idyllic exchange was interrupted. Aviana was begging us to let them play follow-the-leader on the stepping stones, which were not within our line of sight from where we were seated. After much discussion about boundaries and what was and wasn’t acceptable, permission was granted.

After a few minutes, I rudely interrupted my friend.

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed.
“What?”
“Aviana! She doesn’t have her pants on!” I had caught sight of her bare bum through the waving pampas grasses.
Suddenly, both my children came into view. Both with their pants down around their ankles. Both with their bare bummies out there for all to see.

Luckily, there aren’t any windows on that side of the library. And all the trees block the view of the parking lot.

“What in the world are you doing?!” I shriek inquire incredulously.

“I had to go potty,” my four year old farm girl calmly explains, the fact we had just gone to the bathroom before coming outside not ten minutes before notwithstanding. “I need you to wipe me.”

“Did you poo?!!!” I squeal my voice rising a few octaves until I’m sure only the neighborhood dogs could hear me.

“Yeah,” the culprit nonchalantly admits.

Meanwhile, I’ve handed the infant, who is now turning bright red, screaming mightily in protest of his meal being interrupted, off to my friend, only to discover that Brielle, in imitation of her sister’s farmyard antics, has saturated the hood and top half of her outfit with pee. She had unzipped the one piece outfit, and pulled it and her bundies down to her ankles, but then peed right into it.

I strip her of the offending article, leaving her clad in a Pull-up and shoes and socks, pull up the preschooler’s pants, grab our diaper bag and march my hillbilly youngsters to the van.

The story of the little boy who dropped trou to go pee-pee in the cereal aisle that my friend told me during the clean up and gathering process did help me feel a little better.

If you ever happen to be walking around in the Reading Garden, watch where you step.

17 thoughts on “Don’t be laughing at me!

  1. Ok I know I’m breaking the rules so clearly stated in your title, but I can’t HELP but laugh!!! Only because it hits so close to home – my nephew had a similar experience in my parents back yard with people walking by on their afternoon stroll and my SIL running to him screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOING!!??!?”

    It was funny then too 😉 Thanks for sharing!

  2. I am cracking up!!! We lived way out in the country around the time that we were potty training Abriella. It worked out wonderfully because she just went outside when we were out there.

    But it definatly was a problem when we were in public, she just doesn’t understand why she can’t go anywhere. We had a pooping in the park incident. I feel for ya 🙂

  3. I LOVE THIS POST!! I am sure you were horrified at the time, but what great blogging material it gave you and think of the story you’ll be able to tell them when they are older. Ah, you’ll get years of laughter out of this one!

  4. What a fun day! lol

    Don’t worry though, you aren’t the first parent to be humiliated in public that way. When I was a kid my father brought me to the hardware store where I decided to sit down and pee in one of the display toilets as soon as he turned his back. That’s a famous story at all my family reunions 😛

  5. My 2 year old has been learning to ‘pee grass’ lately. Last week he dropped his pants at the park and started to pee in the sand!! My friend and I were talking and all of a sudden both of us screamed, “NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!” and took off after him. Since the park was packed I had to carry him to the bathroom…normally I would have just let him go on a tree. I feel your pain….LOLOLOL (I’m not laughing at you I swear)

  6. Gosh…poor you. I remember one day when my daughter had to go to bathroom, but we had walked to the park. She had to go immediately…so I told her we could go behind a tree…then uh-oh out came a brown blob. I covered it with some leaves, I was mortified, but you know I really didn’t have anything to clean it up with at the moment. Looked like dog-do. I look back and laugh, so I’m sure you can now, too!

  7. Ha. Ha. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

    That was awesome. And it’s not one we’ve had happen … yet. But one time, we went to Bible Study at our old church, and the nursery worker (luckily, a close friend of mine) informed me after Bible Study was over that my daughter wasn’t wearing underwear.

    Oops.

    ~Brea

  8. Oh my!! Thank goodness there were no windows-and you were with a friend who could help. It is quite funny though!! Just think you can pull that story out for years to come and embarass them both!!

  9. This is so awesome– it sounds like something my son would have done a couple of years ago. What a funny story to tell their teenage friends they will bring home later in life!!

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