Depressed mOM WITH DEPRESSION day in the life

A Day in the Life of a Mom with Depression

6:00 Eyes pop open and brain sizzles. Realize that the two-year-old is still asleep and you don’t have a headache, for the first time in two or three weeks. Try to go back to sleep but your brain is on now and you can’t. Try to get out of bed. Lay there. Your neck and shoulders hurt so much you can barely move your head.

7:00 Get up and find coffee. You are so achey you hobble down the stairs like an 85 year old. You know you’re not sick and that it isn’t from too much exercise. The boys are ready to get on the bus and just want their snuggles and love. You just want to be left alone, but you do give the hugs and kisses. Realize that you have some time completely alone and you take advantage of it and read your Bible. Sneak in a little creative verse drawing.

8:00 Decide to work out for the first time in several days. Can’t get the TV to turn on. Try to watch videos to entertain you on your phone. But it’s just not working and you keep getting distracted and get off the trampoline several times to clean this or pick that up and put that away. Grab another cup of coffee. The little girls are up now. Kevin comes in the house briefly and fixes the TV by unplugging it and plugging it back in. Your foggy brain couldn’t come up with that solution. You hug and kiss him in thanks but he’s in a rush and you feel brushed off.

9:00 You feel like you’re moving through a field of molasses in a swamp. Sometimes it feels like you are a swamp walker all the time.  Everything takes such a colossal effort.  The big girls are up and the boys are back home. You homeschool, and you keep thinking that you’ll do school  with the kids but you also want to see if you can get some more walking in and watch motivational videos which improve your mood.  You can’t get them motivated to do their work when you can’t get motivated yourself.  They get their own breakfasts and watch YouTube while you keep walking on the rebounder. Put on some educational videos at least.

10:00 Check your planner and remember that your daughter’s orchestra concert is tonight. Cry, because doing something in the evening seems like it is way too overwhelming. The husband is telling you someone is going to come over and consult about the floor you’re hoping to put in, and you know the piano teacher will be here soon so you get dressed and put on some make up. You play with your two-year-old and watch her laugh, but feel apathetic. You wish you could be so carefree.

coffee mom talk depression day in the life depressed mom mental illness

11:00 The kids’ piano teacher arrives and you walk the dog down to the barn to find your son. It’s a beautiful sunny day and you want to stay outside but the wind is too windy and the wind chimes are to chime-y and the sun is too shiny. You go back inside.  Time passes and you don’t even know what you did.

12:00 Now it is lunchtime and you realize you had meant to go down and get hamburger out of the freezer to thaw several times and never actually made it happen. Let the kids make their own sandwiches. Do some reading and Marco Polo with some friends. Want to support them and what they’re going through. It’s very hard because you don’t have any emotional strength for yourself.

1:00 It is time to take oldest to orchestra. You cry because Finnella cries and tries getting in the car. You go and get your nails done so they look pretty because feeling pretty makes you feel better. And they are pretty,  but it doesn’t really help. You’re reading a book about a recovering drug addict who is in jail and it’s hard even feel any empathy with her and you know your problems aren’t even that big but they seem insurmountable.

2:00 You get home and take a picture of your crabapple trees because three of the four of them aren’t blooming and it really bugs you, as in, you think about the not blooming trees on a regular basis. Bugs you like,  it comes up at random times in your mind, “Why aren’t they blooming?! Why do all the other trees look so good!?”  And you want to post to gardening experts about what you should do.

You try to think of solutions for the things that really bother you because you know it’s not normal thinking. But you can’t help it, and actually finding a gardening forum is overwhelming and several days later it’s still not in the life with depression depressed mental health mom mother mental illnessYou see your puppy lying still in the yard. She doesn’t get up when the car drives into the lane. Suddenly you worry that she’s dead, she’s really dead. What would you do if she was dead?? You feel your heart racing and you start sweating, and you’re breathing rapidly and you can’t think of anything else but if she’s dead and so you start to walk over to her and she lifts her head  and runs excitedly over to you. You thank God she’s not dead and you know that it’s crazy to even have thought that she’s dead, and that logically it’s nearly an impossibility but you can’t help it. You snuggle her for a while.

3:00 The kids are all playing out back and you watch them through the deck doors for a while and marvel at their wonderful creativity even know they’re doing some things they’re really not supposed to be doing, like playing with the fire escape ladder. You don’t have the energy to make them take the ladder back upstairs and have a sneaking suspicion that it will be in that tree all summer, but you can’t even care. You are just glad they are leaving you alone.

You have gotten the new patches for the ceiling in the mail so you apply one.

You go out to the yard to try to get some vitamin D.

depression day in the life depressed mom describe mother mum

When the kids discover that you’re home, you really can’t handle them climbing around on you so you go sit in the living room and they wander off to play outside some more. When the two-year-old comes to ask you to read to her you do, but you are so exhausted that you just fall asleep. You literally just fall asleep on the couch without meaning to.

5:00 The next thing you know your 13-year-old is telling you that it is time to leave for her orchestra concert and asking if you can please do her hair. You do a  pull through braid, very loose  and beautiful. But she doesn’t think it’s fancy enough and doesn’t think that there is enough time to fix it again and she make up. You feel defeated. No one can understand how hard it was to just make yourself braid that incredible child’s hair.

You actually did remember to have someone get the meat out of the freezer. But now there  is no time to make dinner. The kids have to fend for themselves again. Brielle has offered to stay home with Finnella (2) and Elivette (5) so you let her despite your misgivings because it would be a lot easier to not have to deal with the little girls during the concert.

You notice that the spackle on the ceiling is dry so you start to do that, even though it’s nearly time to leave.  You just think you would have enough time while Aviana finishes her make up. She’s annoyed by this idea, because it’s really a foolish move to try and spread spackle smoothly on the ceiling when you have a deadline of walking out the door in a couple of minutes. Your brain just doesn’t do logical sometimes a lot of the time.

6:00 You’ve arrived on time at the concert and save seats for Aviana’s (and your) friends , and the husband and Cadrian (9) who are coming. Denton (7) plays a game on the Kindle and you try to read your book on your Kindle app on the phone. It’s super hard to concentrate because you worry you will miss the people you’re saving seats for. Your legs are aching like crazy and your whole body feels out of control and heavy and fuzzy. You can’t just sit still and enjoy reading.

7:00 The concert is four different orchestras and your daughter gets two recognition certificates. You’re really proud of her, and want to enjoy the remainder of concert, but you also really want to leave. It’s hard to keep in your seat, but it helps to have the boys asking questions and feeling restless too, because helping them behave appropriately and encouraging them, helps you.

9:00 You discover that Kevin has stopped at McDonald’s because he didn’t get supper. You didn’t get supper either. You could have stopped for food too, but chose to get home instead. After getting the boys in bed and talking with Brielle and Aviana, you have some time to talk with Kevin, for the first time in several weeks.

In spite of feeling grumpy towards him, you’re working at flirting with your husband and talking with him about vacation plans and ideas. And everything seems to be going really well when he says some snide things to you. Whether unintentional, or intentional,  you say “You don’t need to make fun of me like that,” when he tries to drive a point home several ways. Then he gets offended and suddenly you’re in a fight, and you’re comparing him to Donald Trump, and he stamps out of the room. Now you’re alone again.

10:00 You apologize for the Donald Trump comment and then sit on the couch scrolling and watching Intervention. You like Intervention because they’re worse off than you are, you know you don’t want to self medicate like they do, and  you do want to learn how to handle your emotions in a healthy way, and learn better coping skills,  and almost all of the episodes are a story of redemption.

1:00 a.m. You take your vitamins and medicine,  go to bed and watch it some more until your eyes are heavy enough and your brain is numb enough to finally sleep. You average between 5 and 6 hours of sleep when the depression is bad. And it’s been bad lately.

Day in the Life of a Farmer

A Day in the Life of a Farmer

A Day in the Life of a Farmer

6:00 Wake up to alarm. Try to sneak out of bedwithout disturbing beautiful wife or two year old who’s snoozing between us. Am largely unsuccessful. Sneaking is not my forté. Grab a cup of coffee to down while putting on my coveralls. It’s 15 degrees on the seventh of April and the cow herd is calving. Dangerous conditions for newborns. The plan is to haul the last month’s accumulation of manure out of the cattle yards and use it to fertilize the fields while the ground is still frozen. It’s a week long job at least with nothing going wrong.

6:30 Check the cows. Discover a half frozen just born baby calf. Haul him in the calf sled to under the barn so I can get him nursing. His mama is not cooperative and keeps trying to charge me. Stupid cow.

7:30 Still having trouble getting her in the head gate. I’m sick of this cow trying to kill me, when all I’m doing is trying to save her baby. Take a break and go check the rest of the herd. Discover two more babies, just born while I was under the barn with the first ridiculous cow.

Drag them in to under the barn as well. Their mamas follow docilely like they’re supposed to. Get the calves all in the calf warmer—a tiny A frame shed with a heater.

Head up to the house for some frozen colostrum. I’m going to have to tube feed them all.

Put 9 year old in charge of warming up colostrum, the first highly nutritious milk. We always milk cows who have lost a baby or have extra colostrum, to keep on hand. Without those precious first few nursings of colostrum, the calves won’t live no matter what you do. It’s a miracle that newborn human babies who’ve never nursed can survive, as no animal will!

A Day in the Life of a Farmer

8:30 Go back out to barn to check on the situation and see that two of them are starting to stand and be halfway normal. The kids all want to come out and watch, so I let them peer through the window so they won’t disturb the mamas. Milk the two cooperative cows and tube feed their calves with their own mama’s colostrum since they can’t nurse yet.

9:30 Go back up to the house, get the warmed colostrum, tube feed the first calf. I don’t think he’ll make it. This is even more discouraging as just yesterday, I had twins (highly unusual for Gelbvieh cows), both born back feet first, both born dead. They’re supposed to be born front feet first. Besides feeling badly for the animal, we’re losing big money every time we lose a calf, and this is definitely not the year to lose any money on anything.

After feeding the calves, I headed up the breakfast operations while my wife was working out. Cadrian, the nine year old can make popovers on his own, but he still needs a little guidance and a lot of reminders.

10:30 Finally start hauling manure while it’s still frozen. I go into the cattle yards with the tractor, load the manure and the straw we use as bedding material into the loader bucket and dump it into the manure spreader. The ground needs to be frozen while I take it out to the field so I don’t tear up the ground with ruts, which then causes compaction, because I want to plant into it soon.

11:30 Take a break from hauling manure when my best friend comes over to get hay for his goat. We shoot the breeze for a while.

By this time, Jessica is gone to write all day at a local farmer owned coffee shop. I go back up to the house to check on the kids and get them to start lunch. They make frozen vegetables and macaroni and cheese.

12:30 The ground is starting to thaw, so I finally start chores. This involves feeding all the cattle in the cattle yards a special mixture of silage, hay and nutrients, and taking bales of hay out to the cattle in the pastures. I mow and bale hay all summer long so out cattle can be grass fed all winter, and I sell some hay to local horse owners. I keep a close eye on the worst off calf.

1:30 The kids are bounding around outside since it’s warmed up a bit. They want to help and be in the way and see everything. Elivette manages to get some milk to feed the half frozen, now thawed, babies!

A couple more calves are born, in the sunshine, which even though it’s still record lows,  makes a big difference so they were fine. After I got the new ones all ear tagged, I poured hot water over that first calf for quite a while, trying to get him warmed up internally.

2:30 Our pet cow Lolly had her calf! She is the smartest cow we have. She had the calf at the warmest part of the day, in the calf shed I just erected yesterday. Really it was probably dumb luck, but I like to credit it to her intelligence.

day in the life of a farmer
My wife with all her sick headache accouterments.

3:30 Jessica has gotten home but she has a sick headache and can’t go to the party with the family.

I get the kids around and we head off to Aviana’s friend’s and Challenge A director’s home for tacos and a sing-a-long. On the way, I meet up with Brielle’s friend’s dad, because her friend Esther has stayed the night and needs to be returned to her family.

4:30 The kids have a great time while I chat with some of our friends. I have to supervise our kids pretty closely because they’re still so young and impulsive. The family who live here with their two teenagers lead a completely different life than us with our six rambunctious rascals ages 2-13.

Our nine year old especially needs to have some quality friends who are boys. We seem to have a lot of friends with girls. He and the host’s 14 year old son love to wrestle and roughhouse.

7:30 It’s impossible for me to round up six kids. You have to start an hour before you’re ready to leave, and then when you finally find them all, and get them pointed in the right direction, someone wants to chat some more and they all disperse again.

Bedtime is the best time of day for this farmer!

8:00 Get teeth brushed and pajamas on. By lying down with her, I get the two year old to sleep. I love snuggling her and helping her fall asleep. Often I fall asleep with her for a little while, and show her how it’s done. This farmer teaches thegreatest life lessons: Bedtime is the best time of day!

9:00 I head back outside and get the calves nursing for the first time. That’s a huge relief! The first one died. I check the cows again and see another new calf born, which brings our total to 7 for the 7th! That’s almost 10% of our herd calving on one day. I have to go out to the field to bring back the tractor I forgot out there because I drove the tractor pulling the manure spreader back and then got busy with the cows. If I had a fit bit I’m sure it would show that I walked 20 miles today.

10:00 Sit down for a rest while Jessica quizzes me about my day for this blog post. I like that she’s paying attention to me, but I’m almost too tired to think! Snuggling with the puppy in the comfy chair is putting me to sleep.

blog homeschool day in the life

A Day in the Life of a Homeschooler

When my oldest was approaching school age and when she was in early elementary, I was obsessed with looking up the schedules of homeschooling families. I did find a book which had a compilation of different families’ days and whose name I unfortunately can’t remember, and here and there I would find a blog post, but there wasn’t much out there at the time. I scoured the internet  and library looking for the “Day in the Life” information for several reasons.d.
Seeking new ideas is something I do on a regular basis. It’s so helpful to see how other people do it, and see what you can incorporate into your own life.
It’s fascinating! I am seriously curious about what goes on in other people’s homes. I love getting glimpses into the extraordinary ordinary.
I like knowing I’m not alone. It’s refreshing that I’m not the only one wanting to tear my hair out by two o’clock.
Because it’s so helpful for me, I asked several of my homeschool friends about their daily schedule. I’m writing a series of The Day in the Life of a Homeschooler posts. If you’re a homeschooler, and would like to be featured, I’d love to talk to you about that!
I would love to introduce to you my friend Sarah. We jokingly refer to each other as Sister Wife because last year we went to Vegas with our husbands and babies, but while her husband was in meetings all day, we figured we looked like sisterwives hanging out with Kevin. Her kiddos are 8, 6, 4, and 2, and she’s also a farmer’s wife.

6:30 am – Mommy and Daddy get up, get dressed, and drink coffee while checking Facebook and email and the weather reports. This is our most peaceful time of day. Daddy usually heads out to work on the farm before the kids get up. I get the farm’s bookkeeping and bill paying done during this quiet time. I try to log off the computer for the day when the kids get up, and NOT go back to check email or Facebook again until the next morning. We don’t own smart phones because we don’t want that constant distraction.

8:00 am – Kids start waking up. Getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth -times 4- takes forever and sometimes there are tears.

 9:00 am – If we are going somewhere (Grandma’s house on Tuesdays because she keeps the kids for a couple hours while I run errands alone, homeschool co-op on Wednesdays, horse riding lessons some Thursdays, library on Fridays) we head out. Often the 8 and 6 year olds have worksheets to complete in the car because we live a long way from everything and it keeps them from making too much racket during the drive. Math and spelling questions are shouted from the backseat of the Suburban up to me (over the noise of the 2 and 4 year olds in the middle row) and I shout the answers back. If we aren’t going anywhere, I attempt to get the 2 and 4 year olds engaged in an activity and then work on lessons with the 6 and 8 year olds.
Homeschool science slime
6 year old Joanna demonstrates making slime

We don’t cover every subject every day. They alternate between math and writing six mornings per week, 52 weeks a year. Science and art are covered at co-op for part of the year. Once a week we read a chapter from our history book, and throughout the week we read the recommended supplemental readings that go with the chapter.

9:30 am – Second breakfast
10:00 am – The big kids are finished with lessons and everybody has free time. For me,that means laundry, dishes, food preparation, gardening, and sometimes relaxing with my own reading material. The kids go outside when weather permits. Otherwise they entertain themselves in the house and that gets very messy. I am often interrupted by crying children who are having a toy squabble or other disagreement, or who have obtained boo-boos and need kisses, or who have invented something or drawn something they are eager to show me. Whenever perpetual disagreements or boredom strike, I give the kids chores to do.
11:00 am – Elevensies (Kidding… sort of… It’s unbelievable how much time kids spend eating!)

Joanna and 8 year old Katrina check out their specimens.
12:00 pm – Lunch. We usually eat leftovers from last night’s supper, or sandwiches or microwaved chicken nuggets. I do not cook a meal in the middle of the day. I basically hate cooking and do it as little as possible. The kids are expected to do as much as they can by themselves. I pay a quarter for emptying the dishwasher or sweeping the floor.
1:00 pm – Nap time. We never, ever mess with nap time. I am extremely strict about this part of the schedule. We are always home before 1:00. The 2 year old goes first. I remind the other kids that it’s time to be quiet and take her up to her room. After a few stories and some gagas (nursing), she’s down. Then it’s the 4 year old’s turn. He gets a few stories alone in his room and goes down.
Katrina loves to illustrate the stories she writes.
1:45 pm – Reading time. With the two youngest asleep, the two big girls and I sit together on the couch and read. I read a few stories to them, and they each read aloud to me from a book at their reading level. This is the extent of our reading “curriculum.” Occasionally, on staying home days, we do reading time before lunch so that I can have more free time
in the afternoon.
2:30 pm – This is MY time, and it is sacred to me. I send the big girls off to do whateverthey want (usually they play outside and  explore the far reaches of the farm) and I work on things that I care about. This often includes a home improvement project (my husband and I are rather proud DIY’ers and we are always renovating something). It takes me two hours a week to mow our yard. I squeeze in 30 minutes of exercise every day, usually during nap time but sometimes in the morning. Sometimes the big girls and I will get out a messy art or science project that we can’t do when the littles are under foot and work on that together. Sometimes we help Daddy fix broken machines or work cattle.
4:30 pm – Sacred nap time is over. The kids’ favorite show, Wild Kratts, is on, and all the kids sit and eat apples (the ONLY food they are allowed to have in the living room) while they watch. Sometimes this distraction allows me to keep working on whatever I started during nap time. Sometimes I get started on supper. Sometimes I watch with them.
Wild learning at its best.
5:30 pm – In the dead of winter, we usually spend a good deal of our evenings in front of the TV. The rest of the year, it is shut off after an hour and everybody goes back to playing and working outside. At the present time, we have no regularly scheduled
evening activities. In the past, the kids have done sports and dance classes that meet on weeknights, and I imagine at some point we’ll resume some of those things. Right now nobody is begging for those sorts of things so we’re not doing them.
We regularly enjoy local parks and playgrounds when we’re at loose ends. Often we meet
friends for a few hours either in the morning or evening (never at naptime!). We take nature hikes and the 8 year old tries to fish. The rest of the evening includes supper at some point, but we rarely sit down and eat together as a family of six. Usually Daddy works late (9:00 or later in the spring, summer and fall) and eats when he comes home (and often at least one kid eats with him). In the winter he sometimes comes in earlier and we might eat together. The kids enjoy a variety of electronic games, card games, and board games, and we play them together or separately. The kids need showers a few times a week and that can be a lot of work.
Ideally, all the toys get picked up and put away before bedtime, but sometimes I don’t  have the energy to make them do it.

9:30 pm – Bedtime. I put the 2 year old to bed because she still needs her gagas, then I take a shower and hit the hay. Daddy has always done bedtime duty for kids who are weaned. He reads them stories and tucks them in. It’s sacred time to him because during busy times of year he hardly sees them at any other time. (They all love tractor and combine rides with Daddy and we do that as often as possible, but it’s not always possible.) By 10:00, the whole family is asleep, resting up for another big day ahead.



It was a nice day finally! I even wore flip flops and got a teensy bit sunburned on my neck. 
We went to a few garage sales today.  I snagged a dehydrator and a CD player (with a tape deck!). Five dollars goes a long way. 

I am thinking about perhaps making placenta pills one day and you need a dehydrator for that. My handsome husband is a more than a tad hesitant about my bringing other people’s organs into the house so that is on hold. In the meantime, I can dehydrate fruit.
We spent some time with friends and meandered around “Garage Sale City”. Cadrian is going to wonder why there won’t be a garage sale at every house the next time we are there.
At one sale, we met some people who do archery and bow hunt in our area. The papa even MAKES bows. The boys were facinated. I would love for my children to learn how to safely handle weapons.
When we got home, Denton and I went to collect eggs. 

This boy gives me a run for my money. He tells me “I hate you!” Every. Time. I tell him “no” or make him do something he doesn’t want to do. I know he doesn’t mean it. I know he is just frustrated. I know it’s just a phase, but it still hurts. And by the end of the day, I. Am. Done. I couldn’t even make myself sing his good night song to him tonight because he was throwing (yet another) fit. 
But this little hand in mine…*heart melt*

We saw a rainbow yesterday and today we saw one all the way around the sun.

I’m sure it means more good days are coming. 
It’s a beautiful day!

A Day in the Life

6 a.m. Kevin’s alarm goes off. He has to go out and load cattle he’s selling today. Last calf finally born in the night. 107 lb bull calf. Helped it get nursing.

6:15: Hear 20 month old Elivette. She’s at the top of the stairs crying instead of just coming down to our room like usual. I pick her up and she immediately stops. I love that feeling when it happens, as if I’m the answer for which she’s been searching.

6:45 Take her back to bed. Nurse her both sides. Miraculously she’s fallen back asleep. I can’t even remember the last time that happened.

7:05 Lie there drowsily snuggling. Cadrian, 5, comes in; happy, talkative, and thankfully, whispering! He says he didn’t fall asleep for a long long time because his new clock kept him awake with all its loud ticking. We snuggle and chat for a while.

7:30 Think I hear Denton, 3, stirring and I don’t want him to wake the baby. Throw on  fleece cupcake pants, and a plaid fleece lined flannel (both purple of course). Start to make shakes. Denton comes in, toting his giant car seat box. I pick him up and start his good morning song, but he immediately sees C going for “his” box and starts screaming. The girls, Aviana, 9, and Brielle, 7, are up. Hug and kiss and good morning song them. Can’t find  lid to one of the shake cups. Start to feel annoyed until I remember the poor of East End (London, I just finished reading the Call the Midwife trilogy) and choose to be grateful instead.

Good morning, good morning to you
Good morning, good morning to you
I love you so much, I’ll eat you right up (nibble ears and nose)
I love you, I love you, I do!

8:00 D & C are fighting over the box. B & A are shouting because B got dressed right away and A is furious that it is 44*F and raining and it’s May 1 and supposed to be spring and she had planned to wear a tank top. I calmly tell people that if anyone is shouting, they can shout outside all they want, and I don’t even care what they are wearing at the moment. If they shout, they are out.

        Fix B’s hair in a “Lacy Braid” which my friend taught me last night. Our amazing neighbor, Cindee calls to confirm she’s picking the girls up for their tutoring session at 8:30. She tells me she messaged me on Facebook, but I didn’t get on FB last night! She takes them to her house once a week to work on science experiments or long term messy projects that would get destroyed or messed with by the littles here. C and D start in again, maybe about the rocket this time. Put C outside. He comes in when he’s done shouting, which is almost immediately.

        Fix A’s hair in a “Five Plait”. I wish I could figure out how to do a French Five Plait, but my fingers get confused. I go in the boys’ room to see how the fabric I got to make a bed skirt for Cadrian will work and pick up quite a bit while I’m in there. A has calmed down about the weather and decided to wear her CuddleDuds under her outfit.

 8:30        Give those who want it bananas and peanut butter. Do some geography songs and reading with Brielle and Cindee arrives. Remind A to take their books and she worries they’ll leave without her. Decide to check messages and to let Melissa know I’m not going to get my hair cut today. Comment on a few posts. Clean up the bananas and peanut butter.

9:00   E wakes! Nurse her. She’s so happy and hungry. Put off changing her a few minutes. Kevin walks in and makes eggs and ham for himself and disappears. I make eggs for the boys and Elivette. E and D eat 2 and Cadrian eats 4 (our chickens are young and the eggs are not jumbo). D doesn’t like the egg I made for him so I give him a different one and don’t even feel irritated. That’s kind of new and worth mentioning.

9:30 Gather 50+ library books and videos that are due today and tomorrow (sometimes I go though a “put-everything-that-looks-good-on-hold binge) Change laundry. Put my hand in honey B spilled yesterday on the half wall in the bathroom which no one cleaned up. Still don’t clean it up or I’ll get completely side tracked from the laundry. Goals for today: Get MY clothes put away. Get the winter jammas and clean clothes put away.
         Get E dressed. Get  a second cup of coffee. Get counting animals down for D.

10:00  Get dressed–long sleeve lilac sweater, black sweater vest cardi, jeans. Make bed. Start hanging up my clothes. Kevin wants to make bean soup with the leftover ham bone but needs help with the beans. E has dumped the counting animals all over. No clothes are actually hung up yet.

            Get my clothes hung up and put away. I have a bad habit of just throwing my clothes on the floor when I’m done for the day. I don’t wash my jeans or sweaters every time I wear them, so that’s part of why, but it’s also just because I’m tired and want in my jams. I will tell you this: If Kevin did what I do, I’d be mighty peeved. It’s that bad.

             Put my shoes back on the rack. Twice. Thanks Elivette.
             Put my stack of yoga pants back on the shelf. Thanks boys.
             Be thankful they didn’t pull down the closet shelves when all three of them decided to climb them at the same time.

10:30 Switch laundry. Check beans. Carry in my three pairs of shoes that have mysteriously migrated to the family closet. Bring in jammas, and two baskets of clothes to be folded and the bin for the jamms. It would be easier to sort and fold the clothes IN the family closet but it drives me crazy to have the chiddlers underfoot in such a tiny space and I can’t imagine the destruction which would happen in the house if I stayed out there to do it .
          AND my center closet door just fell out! (we have three bifold doors with mirrors, very heavy) Thankful Elivette was behind it, not in front of it!

11:00 Fold and sort clothes. Boys are playing with magnets, quietly-ish nearby. Cindee brings girls back who are WOUND UP. Try to discuss where to go from here and how long we want to continue our arrangement, but my brain has no ideas. Feel overwhelmed by the sudden mess and noise. The boys have now stripped to the waist and are wrestling. Cut up an apple for E. Finish the folding and go out to the laundry room again.

11:30 Clean up the honey. Pick up several toys and various detritus the baby or someone has strewn about. Among other things: a muffin tin, a cheese slicer, a metal tray, a magnetic letter Q, a headband, three socks and several pieces of apple. Put the pajama bin away, stepping over several articles of clothing in the process. Feel befuddled and annoyed this room ends up like this every day. (They take after me 🙁 )
           Put a load of rags in. Get another load of kid clothes out of the dryer. Decide I’m done and leave it on the floor.

           Orchestrate “pick up time” which is an exhausting and constant process. Everyone wants to negotiate their jobs and I just want the stuff picked up! Find several more counting animals. Keep 3 or 4 of them semi-focused and on task.

12:00 Start lunch. Mac and cheese and frozen mixed vegetables.Kevin calls suggesting I put Elivette down for an early nap since he wants to go to Menards later. Since she slept until 9, I don’t see that happening. Aviana wants to tell me why she is made. Cadrian wants to tell me why he is mad. Everyone is hyper and talking at once. I keep patient, telling them they are interrupting each other and listen as best I can. Inwardly though I feel anxious and irritable.

12:30 Tell C & D to sit down and wait quietly. They do fairly well. Ask B to get milk and C to help E with her bib, while I’m dishing up mackey. Suddenly I see B helping E and No-one getting milk. So irritating. Mention it calmly that no one would have to wait if she would have just done the job I’d given her.
           I love how E holds out her little hands expectantly at the beginning of a meal to hold hands and pray. Today we sing “Johnny Appleseed”, which reminds me to be grateful for even the rain.

Oh, the Lord is good to me,

and so I thank the Lord,
for giving me,
the things I need,
the sun and the rain
and the appleseed
The Lord is good to me.
Tell the children I need to get E down for her nap and to please clear the table and put their plates in the dishwasher. 
1: 00 Nurse E. Take her up to bed. Read boys Rain Drop Plop and Because Your Daddy Loves You. Put them in their Quiet Time areas after they choose where they’ll be. C is on my bed with a book and D is in his room. Several reminders of “It’s quiet time rest time, remember your question and ask me after it’s over” later, I have a bit of silent time. I snuggle up on the couch under my down comforter and rest with my eyes closed for a while. I hear Aviana singing Broadway songs to Denton.
1:30 Head to my studio for a bit. Finish making 2 I-Spy Bags, read a bit of Moon Time, send a few messages. Cut out fabric for several more bags.
2:00 Aunt Mary (another amazing neighbor) picks the girls up to take them to ice cream. We are so blessed to have so many people willing to give of their time to invest in our family. As soon as they’ve gone, D immediately begins hunting for me. He finally searches me out so I give him the job of counting out 10 trinkets for each I-Spy bag. 
2:30 He is so so excited to have such an exciting job that he jabbers like a strung-out magpie. Then Kevin comes up and installs a motion light in the homeschool closet. I next give D the job of cleaning the vinyl and quickly realize I’m done. 
        K is reading a book about the heart to C. He can’t find the other books because the boys’ room has devolved into a disaster zone. They clean up without complaint and find the books. 
3:00 Kevin goes back to work and I show C some videos of gliders and hang gliders. He promptly goes off to build one. I let Denton watch youtube with me and watch part of a boring vlog of a teen mom–her Day In The Life (DITL). Everyone wants to be famous. So ridiculous and sad. Watch a video on how to wash fleece. I have had a fleece in the garage for a couple of years and am finally going to use it to stuff “rocks” for our new play area I’m designing. Check eBay, my rocks should be here soon. I feel a connection with the woman in the video so look up her website. Maybe it’s just because we both have five children; other than that we don’t really seem to have a lot in common.

3:30 E wakes up. Nurses. Get a snack for C, D, and E. Graham crackers and natural fruit leather. Set it out and go find E. She is standing on the stoop in her brother’s fireman boots “calling” Duke (Duuuuu! Duuuuu!) Watch the adorable for a minute. Go back into the kitchen to discover D stole everyone’s fruit strips and he’s hiding in the corner. C only got 1/2 of one and doesn’t have a fit. No yelling (pats self on back). C is too busy looking for a mile high place from which to throw his “glider” to really care.
4:00       Change E and she messes around sitting on the potty. She loves to sit on the potty, but it has yet to see any action. Think about doing yoga but get distracted by something. Do some preschool pages with D. It seems like he’s on par with Cadrian. He can recognize his numbers and knows how many of something is represented by that number.

4:30   Time to leave for Kuk Sool Won and the new Menard’s. Round up everyone’s shoes and socks and all the library books and adjust the car seats again. Realize I forgot the closet drawing for our new walk-in.

5:00 Stop in our small town for K’s cattle check and to return the books. Pretty cool we can load the cattle at 7 and have a check by 5.   The boys each vie for returning books in the drive through which means they take turns crowding me and stabbing me in the neck with their elbow. Jet to Kuk Sool. Aviana is telling the boys a Tommy and Timmy story. She has such a gift for storytelling.
  I tease Brielle by telling her to ask her Kuk Sool Master what happens to kids if they don’t give him a check on the first of the month. He’s also a fire chief and they just had a pancake breakfast so I was telling her to ask him if they had any leftover pancakes. She was pink cheeked and grinning; I love to hear her laugh. She has such a contagious joy.

5:30 Aviana is reading the highway signs joking that we’re going to DesMoines and starts singing a silly song about it. She wants to know if we can just leave Brielle at Kuk Sool and drive to Omaha. Denton often tells me he wants to “sell Cadreen to Jonafon”. Maybe reading them the story of Joseph and his brothers was a bad idea 🙂 Silly kids.

They were a bit berserk at Menard’s. They need to have a giant store to run around in and climb the walls of when the weather is rotten. Too bad there were other customers. As it was though, everyone was grinning at them. Even though I feel like I need to rein them in all the time, they are adorable and funny!

We looked at closet inserts and organizers but didn’t make any decisions. It’s so expensive! It seems crazy to spend that kind of money on storage space. On one hand, I love the idea of it and on the other, it feels so wasteful. People in third world countries–heck, even 1950’s East Enders would love to live in my new walk-in closet.

We ended up buying stain for the trim, a heating duct, paint brushes and M & Ms. We were there under an hour (but it seemed longer since we circled the store twice) and ran into friends of ours. I love living in a city this size. It seems like I run into someone I know whenever I go somewhere.

6:30 We picked up Brielle, who noticed the M & Ms straight off. They weren’t as good as I remember. We ate at Culver’s for supper. Another decadent indulgence. Just being able to go out to eat occasionally seems like such a gift.

The boys were still in overdrive. Denton ate 1/2 his burger and some fries and as we were pulling out of the parking lot announces, “I’m hungry.” Brielle didn’t like her burger so ate some of my pot roast. Elivette would only eat fries.  LeSigh.

7:00  It was nice to be able to chat with Kevin in the van. The kids were only semi-quiet, but we could hear each other, so that was a bonus.
        A few minutes from Culver’s, still in town, but on the edge, Denton declared his need to pee. We pulled over of course. He ran on his short sturdy little legs down the ditch, up the hill on the other side and behind a bush. Cadrian couldn’t resist that invitation so he had to go too.
         They took so long I thought they might have gone down the hill on the other side, but no, just looking for pine cones. Denton rolled down the hill, and then staggered dizzy like a drunken sailor. I got the giggles.

7:30 Kevin and I got to everyone to bed pretty efficiently. I watched the kids like a prison warden in the family closet to make sure no clothes ended up all over the floor. Kevin brushed teeth. I did jammas and stories and nursed and good night songs and shushings and prayers. We love Richard Scarry’s Going Places. It has cute –short– stories; perfect for harried evenings.

  8:00       Denton had to get up and pee again.
 I heard him say to C “That’s just my breathe”
                                 “My breathe! The stuff tumming out of my mouf!”    
Nurse babe. She’s so funny about pretending to sleep.
Pray with girls. Sing them the good night song.

It’s time to rest your sleepy little head.
It’s time to snuggle in you cozy bed.
It’s time to say good night.
The sun has gone to bed and so must you.
Know you’re loved, all the whole night through
It’s time to say good night.
The stars will shine until the morning light.
God will keep you in His care all night.
It’s time to say good night.
It’s time to rest from such a busy day.
Tomorrow, we will have more time to play.
It’s time to say good night. (3xs)

Cadrian takes issue with that last line because he thinks it sounds like we’ll have more time to play than today. I maintain it only means we’ll have time to play again. 
As Aviana sagely notes, It does no good to argue with a five year old.

8:30  All is quiet. I mess around on FB and read more about Namaste Farms and read a few articles on gentle parenting. Chat with a few friends.

9:00 Kevin brings me in some ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce and I start typing all this up.

As I’m typing I realize I took ONE picture today. ONE.

Last year when I did this I made a photo book out of it–it turned out beautifully. It’s pretty hard to make a photo book with one photo.

I’m not going to be annoyed with myself. It is what it is. It’s a day in my life.






I have been a little concerned that I’ve been getting depressed. Like, seriously. But I think what I really needed was to just get out of the house!

The children were doing better healthwise today, even Elivette (who wanted to snurse all night, and if I pulled her off the breast she complained. Loudly. And often.)

I’ve been wanting to drive to a town about an hour away and check out the new Costco. Today, as I was downing my third cup of coffee and being blearily grumpy about having been awake since the wee hours of the morning, Kevin asked me if I wanted to go.

I couldn’t get those children ready fast enough.

We spent quite a bit of time browsing and exclaiming and discussing and corralling and it was so fun to see the chiddlers race down the aisles; Denton with his tiny little legs trailing far behind giggling all the while, Brielle in her ruby red sparkly slippers clattering with every step.

We ended up getting a membership, probably just so I could buy organic cream. And butter.

 I wasn’t ready to go home yet. We made a stop in West Branch, Iowa at the Herbert Hoover Museum. I knew nothing about him and had kind of believed the hyperbole of “Hoovervilles” and “Hoover blankets”. Today I learned differently! What a great man–literally brought himself up from nothing and made millions. He was the first person broadcast on television. Ever. He was one of the first students at Stanford. He saved millions and millions of people from starvation. Poor Bert–in the presidential office 6 months, the stock market crashed. And he was blamed.

It’s my opinion that the Great Depression was not ended by any of FDR’s policies, but by America’s involvement in WWII. Anyway, I digress.

We found a kitschy second hand store and found Cadrian some nice winter boots for next year. And we lost one.

We got a milkshake at an ice cream shop named “The Pink Pony”. (Guess which six year old was over the moon about that.)

We got back home in time to check out the Kuk Sool class we are considering for Brielle. And to visit Once Upon a Child to get some insulated pants and jeans for people with holes in theirs and leopard print baby outfits because babies need leopard print.

It was just a normal day…regular stuff…but it was so awesome to be laughing with my children, and my husband. It was so nice to be out and about.

I had to sit down at Costco to nurse Elivette. Brielle suggested we sit on a couch facing the big TV.

“Or we could sit there.”
“That’s not facing the TV.”
“No, but we could sit and look at the jewelry.”
“You want to sit and look at jewelry?”
“I’m just that kind of a crazy kid.”
You know you are a rockstar mama when you can change a two year old who started out in bundies but ends up  with diarrhea, in a gas station, without losing your cool, and the child still has pants at the end of the deal.

And when the baby poos to her toes–neatly executing her first ever blowout at the museum–and ends up clean and clothed at the end of the deal.

And when the baby pukes all over the museum’s carpeted floor, and you nonchalantly clean that up too.

I really love to laugh. Brielle told me once that she thinks I spend half my life laughing. I’m really glad that is the perspective she has of me.



A Farm Fresh Day

This post is just for me. I share it with you because sometimes the mundane is oddly interesting. Perhaps what goes on in my house may encourage you to know that you are not alone in the mess and mayhem, the scurrying and squabbles.

 I do this a couple times a year, in a notebook. It helps me see how times have changed, the children have changed, how I’m growing, what exactly I do all day when, at the end of the day, I look around and can’t find a single room that offers sanctuary from the kid clutter, even though I thought I had the kids pick up (a couple times!).

And maybe, when the kids are grown, I’ll look back at my notebooks and weep softly for the crazy chaos that I’ll never have again.

I present to you
Tuesday 17 April 2012

5:41 a.m. “Mama. Mama? Mama!”
                 Uh-oh. Denton is awake.  Debate going up to the guest room (his crib is next to our bed). Wait–feigning sleep, barely breathing. Go back to sleep (I think) or at least a close approximation thereof.
6:30–       Cadrian slams open the door to our room. Sunlight streams in. Prairie dog baby pops up. Two boys in the bed, ” ‘nuggling”. Denton liberally distributes kisses and barely pulls my hair at all.
6:45–       up and at ’em
                 Play “Where’s Cadrian? Where’s Denton?” while they hide in the closet and the cubby by the dresser while I get dressed and make the bed. Tickles, kisses, tosses on the bed. Start to put away clothes from yesterday.
7:00–        Kevin asks me something. Go to kitchen so I can hear him.  Write checks and notes for Samaritan Ministries, pray. Cadrian carefully puts stamps on them and letters I wrote yesterday and licks envelopes. Kevin gets me coffee and the boys their shakes and bananas and cereal. Peels me an egg.
7:20–         Sit at table together discussing our house addition and  Samaritan Ministries newsletter while Denton eats K’s cereal. There’s a hole into the kitchen for a heat duct, but right now it’s windy and COLD. Ask  K, “Will you bring down the heater?” Denton answers, “No!”
7:35–          Go out to “summer kitchen” with K while he gets into boots and coveralls. Discuss sinks, attic, bathroom shelves/arrangement. Cadrian asks several more times for a story.
         Brielle and Aviana appear. Hug A & B.
7:45–           read C story-help him find “airplane clothes” which must be in the laundry–reminds me to switch laundry
8:00–          A reading Mrs. Pepperpot’s Outing                
                    BCD play with Mr Potato Head with minimal bickering
                    B reads “My Bible Book” to boys
8:15–           discuss debate club and Friday’s play date—share some almond mix with D
8:20–          clean kitchen counters, table high chair—fold Kevin’s clothes–start dryer–Kids wild dancing to Geography Songs–load dishwasher–clean off chocolate “Nobody” spilled in fridge a few days ago–clean up detergent “Nobody” spilled between washer and dryer a couple of weeks ago—sweep floor—slice lemons and limes to freeze–change Denton’s stinky dipe–put B in time out for squeezing C–fix hair–talk to furnace guys about storage space in attic crawl space
9:15–            make more coffee–talk with girls about next Presentation Day–prevent D from destroying C’s train tracks–prevent D from getting into CD’s
9:30–             make cape out of tee shirt for C–he doesn’t want it; he wants green–B loves it–make mask–find green fabric! (note to self: Get to Goodwill)–sew cape for C–he doesn’t like mask–make them pick up all the laundry they dumped–face paint masks for C and B—A wants flowers, and a headscarf like Chava in Fiddler on the Roof—D finds chocolate eggs in my bag (how/when did those get there?!) Ate 2 or 3 while I was painting–send B & C outside to play—return to find A & D snuggled on the couch under a blanket reading.
10:20–            fold laundry—intermittently play with D—fix slow clock—now A has on Christmas music; at least it’s calming
10:40–             start lunch–boil potatoes–direct Super B who wants to assist making Shepherd’s Pie–finish putting away clothes in my room—put away clean laundry
10:50–             talk w/ plumber RE: bathroom arrangement (toilet, sink, shower)
11:00–             call K to make sure he agrees with what I decided
11:10–             make mashed potatoes in food processor—get Pie in oven
11:20–             change D
11:30–              direct B to pick up all the shoes on the porch—send C (who is hindering her work) off to find jump ropes and put them away—direct B to shake rugs and sweep–she doesn’t need much supervision anymore and seems to really enjoy this task
                         direct A to match socks and put away some of the laundry
11:45–             finish sweeping porch, put away winter things, switch out summer bin, write in daily diary I’ve been keeping since February
11:50–             dish up food and drinks
12:02 p.m.–      BOY! It’s QUIET when they’re eating and the workers aren’t drilling/sawing. I didn’t realize how loud it’d been!
12:06–              banana dessert or cake. Oh I want some! But not as overwhelmingly as when I first drastically cut back on sugar
12:07–             Out of nowhere, B says, “Boy, I”m surprised Gigi and Opa are still alive!”
                           Me, “why?”
                           Her, ” Because you’re their kid and their kids are really old!”
                           Aviana, “People don’t usually die until their grandchildren are grown up.”
12:08–               eat a few bites of banana dessert, but stop myself from demolishing the whole thing. I guess that’s progress.
12:10–               Get cleaned up from lunch. Do dishes
12:20–                read “Who’s that Knocking on Christmas Eve?” and “Peter is Just a Baby”
12:45–               change D, sleep sack him, K puts him down for his nap–talk with K and plumber again about bathroom placement–come up with yet another plan
1:00–                  read “Peter is Just a Baby” again
1:10–                  Aviana wants to listen to a book on CD but can’t find the ear phone adapter
1:15–                    I look in stereo cabinet
1:20–                    I look in/on computer armoire
1:25–                    I look in electronics box in storage (and note that belly barely scrapes through closet door which only opens 1/3 of the way)
1:30–                    I look in Kevin’s music room
1:35–                    I give up in annoyance and give her the portable DVD player. Find charger after two attempts.
1:40–               Take homeschool/book catalogs, computer and notebook upstairs
1:45–                 Furnace guy comes wandering in looking for inlet for furnace
1:50–                Check emails
2:00–               Check Facebook–send a few birthday greetings
2:15–               Upload pics from camera
2:25–               Upload addition pics to FB; for some reason they are huge, which makes organizing album extremely frustrating
2:30–               Read article about PPD–traumatic birth experience lends itself to PPD, something I’ve always wondered about regarding B’s birth and the months afterward
2:35–               Looked up some more baby names; found one I really like!
2:40–               Leah (my sister) calls Man! So good to hear her voice. Had a really good conversation despite
2:50–              C coming in crying (bumped his head)
2:55–              B coming in crying (bumped her head)
3:00–              A coming in saying D is crying
3:05–              D coming in crying (just because he’s awake)–he calmed down quickly though (this time) so I thankfully don’t have to get off the phone
3:15                  ABC ask if they can walk through the field to the cemetery 1/2 mile away (permission granted)
3:17                   Help C with his shoes
3:30                  Get off phone–never did look at homeschool stuff/catalogs
3:35                  Phone again–talk w/ K about how to pay furnace guys
3:45                  Phone again–it’s the furnace guy
4:00                  Stop messing around online
4:05                  Find our favorite meatloaf recipe
                         Realize that I can no longer make “lil cheddar loaves” because of B’s dairy allergy; decide not to throw recipe away. Find a different meat loaf recipe
4:15                 Go back up to computer, find link through friend’s Pinterest for correct proportions for Peanut Butter Smoothies
4:20                   Cut up all the bananas in the house for the smoothies
4:25                   Call Kevin to see if he can pick up bananas on his way home from delivering bull
4:30                    Measure rest of ingredients
4:35                    Kevin shows up at door–I didn’t know he was already back. I guess no bananas for breakfast.
4:40                     Get done flirting with him
4:45                     Check bananas–not yet frozen
4:46                     Start on meatloaf–get distracted by giggling with Denton. He’s hiding in cubby hole between counter and cabinets and I’m “getting him”.
5:00                       Get “meat muffs” in oven (meat loaves cooked in muffin tins, Aviana named them this when she was 2 or 3)
5:05                     Wash potatoes
5:10                     Go downstairs. Think I hear a cat mewling inexplicably. Get more potatoes.
5: 15                    Wash more potatoes, get water boiling, get them boiling
5:20                     Kiddlets are back. Let them watch Magic Schoolbus
5:25                     Back to basement for carrots. Think I hear cat again. Realize I do hear cat! B locked barn cat in cat carrier–this explains all the cat hair on her I noticed earlier–release cat and carry cat and carrots upstairs
5:30                      Get carrots boiling–go upstairs to check on kiddlets–notice D is super stinky–can’t find any wipes–realize wet flannel family cloth work wonderfully–why haven’t I been doing this all along?!–rinse diaper with shower sprayer into toilet–still rinsing when kiddlets all appear to supervise and offer ICK commentary
5:35                      Get them going on tidying house
                              Fresh diaper applied. Notify B if she doesn’t stop bellowing, she’ll  have to be in charge of dining room AND family room before she gets dinner. Know she’s just tired and hungry.
5:45                        Tell C what to pick up and put away in kitchen
                              B is doing a great job!
5:50                       Finish vacuuming edges. Instruct A to pull out all the toys that creep under the couch, and put them away.
5:55                       Direct handwashing
6:00                Kevin calls to say he needs to go spray so he’ll be late. (Right now!? Pout. I’ll take care of everything. Again. Sigh. He’s really very sweet; “I know it seems like that, but it can’t be helped…” I know…I know.)
6:05                       Fill plates, get everyone sitting–get milk/water for everyone–sing Aviana’s prayer–admonish C to cooperate and hold hands with his sisters.
6:10                       Take away D’s milk so he doesn’t put meatloaf in it–C wants to sing “Fank You Gheezus” –admonish girls to cooperate with him–resist the temptation to ignore my babies and read at the table and veg my brain, even though it has been a mightily wonderful day, my brain is full and tired and I don’t want to participate anymore
6:20                  Get girls unloading dishwasher and putting all the dishes away, not just on counter
6:25                  B wants smoothie in “fancy glasses”–I consent–girls play “cheering each other” (toasting)
                         B cries because I tell her to put “fancy glasses” away
                         Talk to her about trust–she has to trust me–If I say she has to put glasses away and I said she can have fancy glass for smoothie, she has to trust my plan. Just like God put me in authority over her and I have to trust in His plan. Just like Abraham, Moses and Jesus trusted in His plan–she has to trust my plan even though she can’t see the whole picture or understand this part in the plan (I had the smoothies already in different fancy glasses in the freezer)
6:30                 Help C eat the last few bites of meatloaf
6:35                 Finish clearing table and load dishwasher
6:40                 Get everyone sat back down–distribute smoothies (1/4 c pb, frozen banana,3/4 c almond milk, 1/4 c oatmeal (grind first in vita-mix))–Unbelievable how good they are–NO Sugar!
6:48                  Denton has done a splendid job both eating his smoothie and dispensing it all over face, spoon, hands and chair–wipe him down as well as high chair, wall and counter
6:50                 Jama time
6:55                 Start brushing teeth
7:00                 Start reading stories. 4 McDuff stories, 1 Bible story
7:15                 One by one, pray with them and send them off to bed. Little Rascal Denton is hiding behind couch. Kevin shows up. Eats, executes super fast shower.
7:25                  Cadrian has snuck upstairs. “Cadrian get down here this instant or you’ll get a spanking!”
7:25               Marriage Mentoring couple shows up. They’re getting married in January. Emotional session.
10:00             They leave–we go upstairs to show K remodel album and pics of superhero day–look at pinterest, fb, email–talk about addition, baby names, mentoring–he likes smoothie
10:30              Bed


So good

It’s so good to feel good.

I have been getting back to normal–we went to church on Sunday (my first time for several weeks) and I even took the kids to story hour yesterday, and on an outing today–pick up milk, grocery shop and a reward trip to Goodwill. The girls didn’t find anything they wanted, but even so I was so proud of them for first of all, being such good examples at the store, and secondly, not buying something just because they could.

I, on the other hand, found two maternity shirts I don’t really need, and a raincoat and jacket for Cadrian. It was just in time too, because it was raining fish hooks and hammer heads this early evening.

We wandered down to the barnyard to meet our new little red heifer named Lolly. She’ll be bred this spring to our bull Shawnee Five Star. She’s been broke to lead already, so if we can manage to spend enough time with her and keep her tame, I hope to milk her after she calves next year… emphasis on IF.

I watched a PBS special on DVD called A Midwife’s Tale. It of course caught my eye because of the title, but it is really a story of a woman in the late 1700’s/early 1800’s. She kept a diary, an almanac, a record of her work, of the tragedies and joys of her little town in Maine, of the life and loves and heartbreaks. All captured in a few words a day, every day, for 27 years. Also interesting to note, in over 1000 births, she never lost a mama in childbirth (there was a death of a mama a few days after birth) and only a few babes. Remarkable–and a much better current record than the ‘established’ medical community of hospital birth and prevalence of cutting mamas.

I set off the fire alarm making dinner tonight, but the homemade tortillas and refried beans were quickly devoured and the noise didn’t really seem to bother anyone. I forgot until it was too late that beans and rice together are a perfect protein, so I’ll try to remember to get the rice going next time.

UPS brought my Belly Armor blanket today and a book; Five Minute Art Ideas (I wonder if that includes clean up –doubtful). I’m looking forward to getting my splurge purchase of a Belly Chime.

Also got a tutorial for a Katwise coat. I want to make them for the girls–and me too if I’m brave enough. I’ve never seen anything like this on the streets where I live, but I sure do love the feminine twirliness! It’s so refreshing to be able to think about starting a project!

Hug your babies tightly. Listen to them breathe. Nuzzle their sweet soft cheeks and pray for them.That’s what I’m going to do and then go sleep on my new pillow (all night even, if the past few nights are any indication!)


A Day: In Status Updates

Dark. Bad. Quiet. Good.

Apple muffins: YUM! Shredded knuckle: Not so much.

School started promptly at 9:00. First interruption: 9:20. Not bad!
Denton actually says Ga-Ga.
I want a friend in Alaska.
Brielle’s sunflower sprouts are amazingly resilient.
B: I don’t want to help Tadrian! He always drools on my hand!
Why do I not feel as awesome in my apron as my grandma looked in hers?
I like big equipment as much as the next girl, but the third hour of “back ‘oe” “back ‘oe” “back ‘oe” (repeat. and keep repeating…) may have turned me off of excavators for life.
Too bad this sour cream isn’t actually sour cream.
Loving our new mealtime prayer song.
Quickie Mop doesn’t begin to describe it.
Never realized how good of bunk beds a new bookshelf would be.
It’s awfully hard to put on a coat with a baby on your back.
Ooooh–a new L.L.Bean catalog.
Perspective: When I had just a 2 year old and a baby, I thought life was pretty busy and crazy. Now when I have just a 2 year old and a baby, I feel like I’m on vacation.
Does it count as being in a smaller size if you can’t keep it zipped all day?
All the chirping birds make it difficult to make yourself heard out of doors. Not that I’m complaining. And if I did you wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway.
I adore my UPS man. He always seems to know just what I like.
I just used the word varmit. If I don’t watch it, pretty soon I’ll be a-settin’ on ma porch a’hollerin’ fer them pesky critters to git on outta heyar!

Do I need a special spray bottle for olive oil?
Home raised steak.
Frontier House”: reality tv before reality tv was cool. I’m not 100% confident I would have rocked Frontier House. But I would have tried hard. And learned a lot.
I don’t have enough time to do nothing when I go to bed at 10.

Fabulous Friday

What a day!

Maybe it’s the being off sugar and God is blessing me for it–but I have been chock full of energy all day today.
I was up at two with my sweet four year old who just can’t seem to get used to her big bed and new bedroom upstairs. I had a headache and took some medicine which had caffeine in it. So by the time the headache was gone, the caffeine (which I haven’t had in a couple of days either) kicked in and I could NOT fall asleep. And you’d think, listening to four other people sleep soundly, oh so soundly, it wouldn’t be hard to doze off myself, but no. (yes that would mean there were four other people in my room)
So I finally I was convinced it was fruitless to just lie there and I got up and did a little cleaning and went to the gym. The gym! In the dark! Me?! Imagine! I just left a note on the fridge and left the house. I felt like a rebel.
It was an awesome class too.
Then I hit the store. By myself.
By the time I got home it was time for Kevin to get out and do chores. I did a little hanging out with the kiddos amid the putting away of the groceries and such, then we went to story hour. I kept Cadrian on a VERY tight leash, no running out the door or taking his pants off this time! I also bought a lamp for a quarter.
Home again. (and you must keep in mind when one lives in the country, going somewhere tends to be quite the production–you can’t just get there in five minutes) After lunch, stories and ado, we started quiet time. The boys were sleeping and I showered.
Brielle wanted to rub lotion on my legs afterward and I allowed her. Then she wanted to massage it on my back, and I acquiesced to that as well. Then she said, joyfully, “I’m like your servant. Except you don’t pay me, so I’m really your slave!” Even so, I still enjoyed the back rub.
Denton woke up and the girls thought that meant they didn’t have to be quiet anymore. I did manage to doze off while rocking the baby back to sleep.
We had some friends over to play and join in Forced Outdoor Fun, which now that the weather is warming up (she says with her fingers crossed), is muddy but back on the schedule.
Kevin took the middle ones to go get the pizza. We did the bedtime thing. I skimmed a book I might buy, Grow Your Own Drugs. It’s a really well written book (and I’ve read several home pharma books like it), but I still have a lot of questions. Learning from a book is good and all, but I would really like my grandmother in my kitchen guiding me through all this. *wistful sigh*
Now, my energy is flagging and I need to snuggle up in my bed.